038: Paradoxical Reactions, Preparing for Next Year, & Inspirational Reading 12/25 “Benevolence”

Read the post for this podcast on our sister site: Getting Out from Going Under

In this Episode


1:03 Paradoxical Reactions
I talk about my experience with medication where I have the opposite reaction from what is intended, and explain why that is similar to how many of us react around the holiday. Then, I give a couple of suggestions about how to move past the possibly negative emotions we experience during this time of year.

08:57 Preparing for Next Year
I talk about how you can move out of the negative emotions that surround the holidays by preparing for next year. I give you a two-step process to follow. The first part is looking at your accomplishments from the year just past and setting some goals for the upcoming year.

But I give very specific instructions on the types of goals it’s best to set and why certain goals will just set you up for failure. Plus, I talk to you about the process of using a “God box” (make your own and call it whatever you’d like – “Higher Power box,” “HP box,” “Sacred box,” “Fred’s box,” you get the idea).

At time stamp 13:20, I talk specifically about what types of goals to set if you are a compulsive spender still in the throes of your addiction.

After listening, I’d love to hear about your accomplishments and goals. Just leave them in the Comments section of this episode (below)!

17:08 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: December 25th: “Benevolence”

Resources Mentioned in this Podcast Episode

In listing my accomplishments, one of them was creating this podcast last year. I talked about Cliff Ravenscraft’s wonderful advice to me in a public podcast episode and a VLog episode!
Cliff Ravenscraft is my podcasting mentor. But he has been much more than that because he has continued to inspire me. At episode #7 of this podcast, I was ready to quit. He responded to me publicly, not once, but twice, in an amazing, inspiring, and uplifting talk that would be relevant to anyone beginning any new venture. I urge you to listen to both (they are not very long).

St. Francis Prayer
I suggest this prayer because it so precisely describes ways in which we are focused on self, which can bring us so much misery, and suggests how to turn our self-centeredness around to be of service to others, which can bring us more peace and joy. This is certainly not easy to do (at least not for me), but I love the specific actions I can take to change my perspective and focus.

(Note: I put alternatives to the word God in [brackets] and put “[to self]” in brackets in the last line, as I have seen done in some 12-Step literature. But you can even remove the last line entirely and find much solace in the rest of the prayer!)

[God/Higher Power/Mother Nature/Or any word of your choosing], make me an instrument of thy peace!
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
[God/Higher Power/Mother Nature/Or any word of your choosing], grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted.
To understand, than to be understood.
To love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying [to self] that one awakens to Eternal Life.

(Note: I changed the word “God” to “Higher Power” and put “[to self]” in brackets in the last line, as I have seen done in some 12-Step literature.)

Music Attribution

“Life of Riley” (Intro and Outro), “Carpe Diem,” “Wish Background,” “Upbeat Forever,” “Sweeter Vermouth,” “Ascending the Vale” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Help with Your Spending Plan

I can help you overcome the fear of looking at your numbers, create the foundation for your spending plan, and provide one-on-one technical help to teach you how to use your spending plan software. Click here to read how I can help you with your spending plan

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4 thoughts on “038: Paradoxical Reactions, Preparing for Next Year, & Inspirational Reading 12/25 “Benevolence”

  1. Been catching up on your Year End podcasts (was out of town and ridiculously sick for weeks…). Just sat down & did accomplishments for 2016, in no particular order:

    • 2 week beautiful trip to England to see friends & theater. Began long time goal to visit & travel English countryside
    • Edited a pilot for a major network TV show (longterm goal!)
    • Moved in with my boyfriend
    • Raised money for my college to fund a Peer Resource Center
    • Helped plan & run a successful 25th Reunion for my college class
    • Started attending DA in January (& stopped using credit in May…)
    • Retired about $10,000 of my long-standing student loan debt
    • Served as secretary for my home DA meeting
    • Worked bulk of the year on a new TV show for Starz, pushed my limits
    • Two trips to MN to see family
    • Two trips to NYC with my boyfriend to see theater & friends
    • Found a new physical therapist & began self-care for back
    • Transitioned to YNAB & got #’s tracking more successfully
    • Funded an emergency fund in savings & an account I call Freelance Buffer
    • Began accumulating a Prudent Reserve
    • Successfully navigated 2 financial mini-crisis: dental crowns & hospitalization for dog — both without debting…
    • Weekend in Big Bear with friends
    • Attended numerous concerts/plays/operas
    • Setup tracking & reconciliation for shared expenses with boyfriend for home

    Thanks for letting me share!

    • Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this. What an amazing 2016 you had! I love this 🙂 It’s so important that we share these successes to give hope to others. You certainly inspired me.

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