045: Five Reasons to Ignore Valentine’s Day & Inspirational Reading 2/14 “Valentine’s Day: A Plea for Sanity”

In this Episode

00:52 Five Reasons to Ignore Valentine’s Day
In today’s podcast, I try to help you get right-minded about Valentine’s Day. Once you listen to this episode, I guarantee you won’t ever look at it the same way! I’ve posted a more extensive article on the subject, called “Why I Ignore Valentine’s Day and Why You Should Too” on Medium.

08:15 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: February 14th: “Valentine’s Day: A Plea for Sanity”

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044: Feeling Your Feelings & Inspirational Reading 2/10 “Staying the Course”

In this Episode

By Brocken Inaglory (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

00:46 Word of the Week
I just discovered a new word that you will find interesting!

01:22 Jane’s Story
I start off by telling you a story of a fictional compulsive spender named Jane, and what happens to her when a job interview goes bad.

05:00 Feeling Your Feelings
Taking Jane’s story as a starting point, I discuss how we can begin to recognize and stop the downward spiral from emotional upset to spending binge.

 

 

15:25 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: February 10th: “Staying the Course”

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043: Losing Your Balance & Inspirational reading 1/29 “It’s Physical”

In this Episode

Click here to read the “Getting Out from Going Under” blog post for this episode.


00:50 Losing Your Balance
I’ve gained and lost five sponsors/action partners in various 12-Step programs over the past year. I’m feeling some fresh pain around this topic so I thought it was worth exploring. I talk about how unsettling it is to lose relationships in recovery, whether it’s a sponsor, action partner, or just someone in your network of support, and how to regain your balance despite the loss.

10:25 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: January 29th: “It’s Physical”

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042: Getting Off the Seesaw & Inspirational Reading 1/22 “A Lifeline”

In this Episode

Click here to read the “Getting Out from Going Under” blog post for this episode.


00:46 Getting Off the Seesaw
Today’s podcast is inspired by an article from Becoming Minimalist that I posted on our Facebook page. The article is about not buying any new clothes for a year.

It’s an exciting idea, but is a really extreme step for someone who is still compulsively spending. I talk about the dangers of swinging from extreme to extreme and why it’s best to just live the middle way instead.

 
10:25 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: January 22nd: “A Lifeline”

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041: Being a Militant Realist and Inspirational Reading 1/21 “Willingness”

In this Episode

Click here to read the “Getting Out from Going Under” blog post for this episode.


00:49 Being a Militant Realist
Today, I talk about where the rubber meets the road in recovery from compulsive spending. I explain the Debtors Anonymous concept of pressure relief meetings (PRM). And why it’s vital that anyone wishing to help a compulsive spender needs to be a militant realist.

11:14 Here’s What Happened to Me
I talk about my own experience being told a hard truth I didn’t want to hear … and how it all turned out. Plus, I finish by telling you how you can become your own militant realist.

17:59 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: January 21st: “Willingness”

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040: Money Diet vs. Spending Moratorium & Inspirational Reading 1/10 “Pain vs. Misery”

In this Episode


00:49 The Difference Between a “Money Diet” and a Spending Moratorium
I talk about an excellent article I found in New York Magazine by Charlotte Cowles that paints a clear portrait of the difference between a budget-minded philosophy and a recovery-centered vision without ever mentioning a 12 Step program. In addition, I go into detail about the differences between a “money diet” and a spending moratorium based on the experience of someone I know as well as my own.

11:55 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: January 10th: “Pain vs. Misery”

Music Attribution

“Life of Riley” (Intro and Outro), “Carpe Diem,” “Danger Storm,” “Bassa Island Game” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Help with Your Spending Plan

I can help you overcome the fear of looking at your numbers, create the foundation for your spending plan, and provide one-on-one technical help to teach you how to use your spending plan software. Click here to read how I can help you with your spending plan

Please Leave Comments, Questions, and Suggestions

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this podcast. Please share your comments, questions, and suggestions. You can leave a voice message if you have a microphone (see the link on the right side of each page and on the Contact page), email me from the Contact page

039: Year Themes, Try These Tips Today, & Inspirational Reading 1/1 “Resolutions”

In this Episode

1:28 More about Choosing a Theme for the Year
I continue talking about resolutions vs. goals vs. themes and why a theme may be the best idea for the upcoming year.

06:37 A Couple of Ideas to Help You Shift Your Relationship with Money Now
Just a few ideas you can implement easily and quickly that may give your year a jump start around having a healthier relationship with money and spending.

08:32 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: January 1st: “Resolutions”

Music Attribution

“Life of Riley” (Intro and Outro), “Carpe Diem,” “Crusade,” “Cuban Sandwich,” “Fearless First” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Help with Your Spending Plan

I can help you overcome the fear of looking at your numbers, create the foundation for your spending plan, and provide one-on-one technical help to teach you how to use your spending plan software. Click here to read how I can help you with your spending plan

Please Leave Comments, Questions, and Suggestions

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this podcast. Please share your comments, questions, and suggestions. You can leave a voice message if you have a microphone (see the link on the right side of each page and on the Contact page), email me from the Contact page

038: Paradoxical Reactions, Preparing for Next Year, & Inspirational Reading 12/25 “Benevolence”

Read the post for this podcast on our sister site: Getting Out from Going Under

In this Episode


1:03 Paradoxical Reactions
I talk about my experience with medication where I have the opposite reaction from what is intended, and explain why that is similar to how many of us react around the holiday. Then, I give a couple of suggestions about how to move past the possibly negative emotions we experience during this time of year.

08:57 Preparing for Next Year
I talk about how you can move out of the negative emotions that surround the holidays by preparing for next year. I give you a two-step process to follow. The first part is looking at your accomplishments from the year just past and setting some goals for the upcoming year.

But I give very specific instructions on the types of goals it’s best to set and why certain goals will just set you up for failure. Plus, I talk to you about the process of using a “God box” (make your own and call it whatever you’d like – “Higher Power box,” “HP box,” “Sacred box,” “Fred’s box,” you get the idea).

At time stamp 13:20, I talk specifically about what types of goals to set if you are a compulsive spender still in the throes of your addiction.

After listening, I’d love to hear about your accomplishments and goals. Just leave them in the Comments section of this episode (below)!

17:08 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: December 25th: “Benevolence”

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037: A Perfect Day for Recovery & Inspirational Reading 12/24 “Breaking the Cycle”

In this Episode


00:50 It’s a Perfect Day for Recovery
You don’t have to wait until January 1st to begin your recovery from compulsive spending! I tell you why today (a week before Christmas and Hanukkah) is the absolutely perfect day to begin!

Read the post for this podcast on our sister site: Getting Out from Going Under

08:29 Inspiration from the Daily Reader for Compulsive Debtors and Spenders: December 24th: “Breaking the Cycle”

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Post: A Perfect Day for Recovery


Click here to listen to the podcast for this post.

As I write this, it’s a little over a week before Christmas and Hanukkah. And it came to me that it’s the perfect day to begin a recovery program or to re-commit to recovery around compulsive spending. What better time to let your addiction know that you mean business then to affirm your commitment in the midst of the frenzied spending around the holidays.

In fact, if you suffer from any addiction, now is the time to get the help you need to become and stay sober or abstinent or clean or solvent or authentic or whatever describes your addiction. This is the season of excess, whether it’s food, money, sex, alcohol, people-pleasing, anxiety, sadness, anger, or whatever else you are powerless over.

I’ll tell you why this came up for me today. I attend a Debtors Anonymous (DA) meeting where we read and share on DA pamphlets. This week, while working through the Recovery from Compulsive Spending pamphlet, we read and discussed “suggestions that have helped many D.A. members recover from the pain of compulsive spending.” (from the pamphlet)

It was when we read this bullet point that I had my epiphany! “Attend D.A. meetings regularly for group support to counteract advertising and other societal pressures to spend and debt.”

Now, I’ve long heard people in various programs talk about the importance of attending meetings so we can give back what we’ve so generously been given, and how newcomers need meetings to really understand how 12 Step programs work and to develop a network of support.

But I’d never thought about meetings as a tool and a defense against the consumer marketing monster and societal messages urging us to spend money. And when is there more pressure on people for such a sustained period to buy, buy, buy as the lead up to Christmas, Hanukkah, and other December holidays? So when would there be a better time to get support than when the clock is ticking down to frenzied gift buying during this holiday season? You can make a commitment to recovery from compulsive spending to keep you sober with money now, today, not next week or next year.

Sure, there are other holidays where we feel pressured to buy. Never mind the other days that give us an opportunity to practice love, consideration, and giving of ourselves. I’m thinking of all those stupid Hallmark holidays that insist that the only way to show your mother or father you love them is to buy them an extravagant gift you probably can’t afford, which must be given to them on a particular Sunday in May or June in order to count.

Then there’s the message that you’d better give a big fat piece of jewelry to someone on a random day in February along with chocolate and flowers or someone will be hurt and believe you don’t love him or her. (don’t get me started about Valentine’s Day and where that holiday came from! Here is a link to an article I wrote about that.)

And, of course, there’s the Friday after Thanksgiving. But I’ve already covered why that’s the day for amateur spenders in this article, so you don’t need to bother even revving up your engines.

But the month of December is the granddaddy of spectacular spending pressure … because it starts in November! And there are so many gifts we think we need to buy. For compulsive spenders, once we make that first out of control or “I have to or they’ll be upset” purchase, we don’t know where it will end. But it’s usually not a happy ending. So why not stop it now?

You don’t have to wait until January 1st to make the decision and commitment to recover from compulsive spending. You can start today. Yes, you can.

Now, I’m about to say something shocking.

Are you ready?

You could cut up all your credit cards and cancel all the accounts today (or even just one account).

Oh no, I just heard a collective gasp from you all.

OK, breathe.

I realize you are probably going to need help to accomplish that step. I’m just saying you could do it in theory. Listen, I’m not suggesting you run a marathon today, but you can start by taking a walk around the block today. You can start by asking for help with your addiction.

You can get support to help you have a sober holiday season this year. There’s nothing magical about January 1st. People in recovery don’t make a list of resolutions once a year because we recommit to our recovery every day.

In fact, if you begin now, you can start to work on your spending plan for next year, so that you won’t be scrambling around holiday spending next December.

That’s why I say that there’s no better day for recovery than today. Stand up to your disease and you can have an army of support behind you.

Remember, there is no need to hit a bottom any lower than the one you’ve already hit. You can choose today to be Day One of recovery. There are many who have been just where you are who are waiting and wanting to help you. You may not know it yet, but there’s also an arsenal of tools available to support you.

If you are suffering from feeling beaten down by your compulsive spending, and know that you are just winding up to create more out of control debt during this holiday season, why not give 12 Step recovery a try? Both Debtors Anonymous and Underearners Anonymous have many phone meetings, which are incredibly convenient, as well as lots of live meetings.

Yes, I know that there is not just one road to recovery. But this is a road I have personally walked and I paid off over $34,000 of debt in seven years and I am still living within my means today (just one day at a time). And, just so you know, I only attend phone meetings. Plus, 12 Step Fellowships are 100% free for members.

All the help you need is just waiting for you to walk through the door or pick up the phone. It is offered freely and given to you with love. And it is available today and every day you want it, one day at a time.